Burst through your door. Strip down. Put on his t-shirt. Stare at your phone for a second. Jump into bed. Wrap his blanket around you as if you're about to die.
Cry.
What the fuck, did someone die or what? No? Quit acting like it.
But you can't really help it. You spent so much time in this bed with him that you forgot what it was like to be in it alone. Was it always this cold? Cry again. Stare. At nothing. Stare at the floor. Stare at your dresser. Stare at your closet. Stare. At nothing.
Now stop. Save yourself.
I know it hurts. I know it hurts everywhere. I know the thought that every step you take in your room, he took a step there too. Or his shirt was there. Or his hoodie. I know, his empty boxes of vans are sitting near your door and I also know the bottle of Rose is staring back at you but YOU NEED TO STOP.
Because it's not over. In fact, look at it this way... it's just beginning. That time you spent together is just a preview of what's going to come. You guys are so magical together, you've heard it a million times from others so just remember that. These things take time. You just need to be patient. Train yourself. Listen to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle. Remember why it hurts so much to begin with.
It hurts because the love you share is that good. Don't forget that. Don't lose yourself over love when you should just... love yourself, over love. It's really that simple.
Be happy. He's alive. You're alive. He loves you. You love him. Be happy to be so in love that it hurts.
Love hurts sometimes when you do it right... - so save some room for him in your heart. Have your little cry session, empty out, and let him back in. Cause when you do... it'll feel so good. [Insert number of days] without love makes one weak but be real with yourself, you have more love than a lot of people can understand. You have someone who loves you no matter how far away they are.
That's beautiful. You should really keep reminding yourself that.
Love,
me.
P.S. just start counting the days again. Be excited. It's a good look on you.
