please stop. i'm begging you.
please stop acting like i belong to him. i don't.
please stop acting like i'm going to let him have a single say in the way i run my life - it's not going to happen.
and yes you have done the most AMAZING job at raising me. but please, believe me when i tell you this. the farther you push me away the quicker your results will come, and then what will you do? i don't want to hurt you but.... you make it so hard.
you make it so hard for me when you yell without cause. when you let your emotions get the best of you and when you act like i'm not doing anything to deserve this.... like i don't deserve to make my own decisions or like i haven't made rational ones, or like i haven't made it to the exact place i said i'd be - and all of this on my own.
please, please stop making it out like i owe you the rest of my decisions. i don't. i'm not that old, but i fully believe i'm not that young either. i believe i deserve different treatment - i believe i've done enough to be trusted and you're being completely irrational and unfair to me.
have i not worked my ass off to this point? don't answer that, cause by MYSELF, i know i have. don't act like just cause he's your man and wasn't there for the first sixteen years of my life that he deserves my consideration. don't act like just cause he makes you happy, that automatically gives him entitlement to have say over what i do.
IT DOESN'T. IT NEVER WILL.
so please just stop. stop acting like i don't deserve time to myself. don't act like i haven't suffered enough of your shit my entire life, don't act like i don't have a single reason for wanting to leave this place even for a few weeks. you may just be extra worried or whatever BUT JUST STOP. because i haven't given you a reason to worry, and when you worry about me when i'm not at fault it just makes me feel like you're blaming me for things i've never done and refusing to trust me over pain i've never caused.
let me do me. the sooner you deal with it, the easier it'll be for the both of us. i'm not going to stay here and listen to you bitch at me forever while staying quiet... so stop. or better yet, don't stop, it'll feel that much better when i'm gone.
