Dear you,

I only hope that you find the love you need to give to yourself to fully comprehend that this letter is in fact, for you.

First off, I love you. I think you deserve everything. Sure, there's times where you are a mess and you are the source of the lone pimple on my face and the one reason why my hair is going to fall out one day; but I will never love you any less. Sometimes you even neglect to take your phone off silent. It's okay. Really. You balance everyone else out.

I know you all too well. You stay up all night thinking, allowing yourself to (for hours on end) listen to music that seeps into your heart and build a little home for itself. John Mayer, The Fray... Old songs. Those songs. Everything that reminds you of him. From the hip-hop to the song you laughed to and uh you know, all that good stuff. You just lay in bed, and you feel. You feel the blue in your soul. The red in your blood. I bet if you think hard enough you can even conjure up the way he used to smell, when he was there, right next to you, at any given time. I bet you can remember the exact locations of his "smile-wrinkles" and I bet you fantasize about how you could spot him in 0.3 seconds in any room.

Regardless if the room is dark or not.
Because as long as he's in that room, there's a light.

So here, take this and please, swallow it, bottle it up and put it on your pocket, tie it around your neck, vacuum seal it in your heart, and eat it for every meal of the day. You deserve to be that happy. The kind of happy that you're lusting after each night. The kind of happy that curls the edges of your lips and tingles in your stomach. The kind of happy that you almost had... Just be patient baby girl. Don't be afraid to lose it, because God gives to those what he feels is right. All you have to do is allow him to live in you and let you love again, you know why? Because you are fully capable of receiving and housing a love that is that strong. The kind of love that makes me excited to possibly have it in my own hands one day, with mine.

The kind of love that keeps you up at night. You deserve to sleep some more. The kind of love that holds that grey cloud over your head. You used to have sun shining out of your ass. The kind of love that puts a spell on other people... We see you, we know you, and although we love you, we cant stand seeing you lose that magic.

So please. Look in the mirror. Say it straight up:

I deserve what I want.

Go get it. You need this, and we need you back 100%. The "you" that was a shining example to everyone around you about how you could have love, God, friendship, family, everything. Let yourself love again, and if all else fails, please, promise me this:

You'll love yourself no matter what. We love you, you should too.

Love with all my heart with the amount of all the peas in the world,

Me.