even when you piss me off... and on a day that i'm hating the world, you seem to be the exception to it all at some point (even when my nerves are right *HERE* and you are right there with 'em), and after hours of borderline explosiveness... you calm me down, and you make me fall in love with my life all over again.
gay poem starts
what is it about you?
maybe it's every love song that makes me feel like i could fall in love with lust, with life and even with the small, occasional pulses of heartache when i think about the times i thought i could do this without you and with someone else.
and maybe, it's the knot in my stomach when you apologize (and i feel undeserving in all those moments) like as if you're sorry that you love me all the right ways and i let myself feel it all the wrong ways...
or it could be the way your voice caresses my heart and sends chills through my fingers, while sweeping underneath my feet, touching the small of my back and making my knees weak and even my elbows bend around my pillow like it's you, like you were there, and this is all in the moment you breathe into the other line and say "hey" and i seriously think i forget where i am for a second.
it might be the fact that every time you call me "baby" it feels like the first time like as if the first thousand times wasn't enough and i anticipate the next five thousand times and i could see myself still melting after the 10 millionth time.
or that smile. god damn.
maybe it's how i want to construct a rope made out of all the things you've ever said and done that i'll never forget and tie one end around my waist and the other end around a cloud so i can just hang out and climb all these thoughts of you for hours and days and years.
and fuck that "running through my mind all day" shit, you've been doing gymnastics and bending around every angle and cell of my brain touching places i never even knew existed and balancing out my thoughts, making my heart race - giving me my OWN work out, jumping between my heart and my head back to my heart back to my head and then somewhere in the middle like... in my smile.
my smile. i swear to god you live there. you basically own that shit.
there's so many things and i swear every time i sit in one spot and think about you i find something new. i see you in everything i do and everywhere i go. i see you in the way people speak about me and i see you even when i'm trying my best not to look.
that's what you do to me... i don't even remember how to look at anything else without seeing you in it. even in a bad day, all i have to do is look, and then all of a sudden, i see.
... gay poem ends :)
