if you give your all to someone, you worry that you may smother them.
likewise, if you don't give enough... you worry they may call you guarded.
so where is the balance? where do the two meet?
when is it considered "enough," the effort that you choose to put in?
i think some people put emphasis on the wrong areas when they're with somebody. who do you have more duty to - him or yourself? who's been treating you better? who's gonna love you no matter what? who's been there since day 1?
i also think these are questions we refuse to ask ourselves, but answers to those questions are reasons we use to excuse our behaviour when we're with someone. it's not necessarily always the person we're with that makes us act in a certain way... it's just... the other person. the one we've always been with. ourselves. we're more likely to accommodate the relationship that has always taken precedence - the one we have with ourselves. i know a lot of people who fail to maintain a healthy relationship with themselves, resulting in the cray cray and insecurities - but i also know a lot of people who are too scared to cheat themselves out of their neat little "party for one." they treat themselves too good and basically cheat their spouse out of love they may or may not deserve.
regardless, i know everyone needs to feel good about themselves to feel good with someone else. i know that you need to love yourself so someone else can love you, too. but i also know that if you only ever focus on the love you give to yourself, you'll never reach a level to be loved by someone else. i think being in a relationship entails changing, adjusting, growing... for the better. relationships are about dynamics and if one person is always staying in one spot, how far can you go?
when you fall in love with someone, part of you changes... so you need to tweak another part, so that someone can love you. you may worried about playing yourself out, but you might be doing the exact thing (and perhaps worse) by not letting someone else love you.
