dreamers

today i saw a tweet that said "if unicorns exist in our imagination, what if we exist in theirs?"

and then i started thinking really hard. what if that perfect person isn't as far as we make them seem? we make them seem like they are years away, miles away, impossible to locate. but what if they were always right there? or right around the corner? and we ourselves just failed to have a bigger imagination.

it's kind of like... okay, i went to a j.cole show last month. i expected it to be amazing but it actually blew my mind. two piano players on stage and an interactive, straight up live dj. no bullshit. it was better than i expected. i didn't think much of it before that, but now i have higher expectations for concerts than i have ever had prior to his.

so i kind of look at people the same way. expect good, and in turn you may even receive great. sure, there are a lot of shitty people out there, but it is not far-fetched to go looking for someone with a good heart, who wants the same kind of love you do.

i never thought i was being realistic when i thought of myself falling in love with the "right" person. i kind of figured i was setting myself up for disappointment for the rest of my life... i was dead or something. clearly. but i found someone who turned that all around and now i know myself that i am completely different in love. in good love. not that crazy stuff that kills you slowly.

for the first time ever, i woke up early and cooked breakfast for two... left my boyfriend in bed and told him to relax and i'll get him when it's ready. it wasn't much, eggs bacon and toast, but it was the first time i ever did something like that for someone.

i used to imagine that being in love was having someone treat me like a princess. i mean, i do have that. but it feels just as good, maybe even better, to treat him the way he deserves. & a love like that used to be completely beyond my imagination.

quiet night in, just me and you, tea, short ribs on the george foreman, rice cooker on... even if i got a little cold it's always better with you :) can't wait til the day that this is just our life and a normal everyday thing.

everything i wanted was right there

and finally... a year after this post, it was you. :)

september 23, 2010

dude this is so cute. i CANT.

to the love of my life:

you are so special to me, and so relative to my life on so many levels.... the effort you make to be close with my family, the way you prove to me that i can trust you, the way you say all the things i need to hear & most importantly the way you love me. i couldn't ask for more of you, and it'll take some time but we'll work at it. but most importantly, we'll make it. the biggest reason that i love you is no matter whether or not shit hits the fan, you never threaten me with the reality that you could be with someone else/be somewhere else, or that you'd leave... i know at the end of the day, you're still my baby, and you're still going to be there, loving me, no less than you did before. i adore you completely for that. i could never find a way to leave you cause everything i want ends right at you. see you in 9 days :)

full out or get out

today i bought a big bag of chips from shoppers. on sale, for $1.29. bbq flavor.

i mean they're chips how do you fuck that up, right?

wrong.

tasted like shit.

anyway my whole point is don't settle for less and don't be the person that puts up a front that they do well yet half-asses everything. do the whole thing, do it RIGHT, even if it doesn't turn out as planned, at least you can sleep knowing you're efficient and dependable.

but if you're gonna do something just to do it and not put any genuine effort into it.... don't bother, there's a million people who will do the exact same.

be useful. do it all and do it right, or just don't do it.

even at 4am in the morning... still the best

this is so on point it's UUUUNREAL

"To all the boys I’ve loved before, for showing me I deserved so much more.

But most of all to my father. The guy that loved me SO MUCH he couldn’t even sign his name on a piece of paper, because he wasn’t there. The guy who didn’t make me his little Princess, or let me know that no one will ever be good enough for me. The guy who didn’t teach me how to do a proper lay-up, or how to play the guitar, or how to drive a stick. The guy who didn’t cringe in disapproval at my too revealing prom-dresses, or shine his shotgun in the living room whenever a date would pick me up. The guy who will never make me Mickey Mouse pancakes or offer me allowance even when I’m 35. The guy who never braided my hair ugly on picture day, or drank tea with me and my teddy-bears. The guy who never kissed me on my forehead and told me I was beautiful, and the guy who will NEVER walk me down the aisle at my wedding.

Holy shit that sounds like a sob story doesn’t it? It is, but please don’t feel sorry for me if you do. Because this is also the same man who taught me how to fill my own voids, and love myself when the people who ultimately should – won’t. All joking and sarcasm aside, he is the same man who proved that blood isn’t always as thick as water. He enforced the quote “Friends are the family you choose for yourself.” He taught me how NOT to handle my responsibilities, how NOT to set my priorities straight, and what NOT to look for in a man.

But most importantly he taught me how NOT to love."

girlsarethenewboys.com