anyone who's known me long enough to say they know me knows damn well - i can and always do take care of myself.
independence. it has been, at most times, my strength, persevering in my favor.
but sometimes - it doesn't. there are times where independence is ultimately my down fall.
and i don't think that's a bad thing, it being a down fall. it's just proof that, as much as your hustle should be all about you doin' you or being able to level out with every line to "she got her own," sometimes life hits you just hard enough so you can wake up and appreciate the amazing people around you. your mom nagging you daily because she's concerned about your well being - your best friend texting you with reassurance of her support in case you ever decide to let your walls down and actually talk to her about it - even your boyfriend... just simply trying to be a good boyfriend and gaining both intimacy and progression in your relationship by trying to aide a part of you that you, and your independence, refuse to show.
but it being my downfall really just means i'm being stubborn. yet some people seem to get it confused with me using my independence to mask some sort of indiscrepancy that i have with myself, that i am unhappy with my state of independence.
wrong. hella, triple time, most definitely WRONG.
i am comfortable with being alone. 100% comfortable. in fact, i prefer it more times than not. i am more uncomfortable when i feel myself in the presence of another, as if i am restricted in a way. therefor, my downfall goes hand in hand with me often being guarded. guarded does not entail me being crazy and keepin' checks on everything someone does, but simply, it has everything to do with me. what i allow myself to give (or really, not give) to another person. which part of my mentality i'm willing to risk and "expose." but that insecurity stuff, and me being guarded, does not go hand in hand.
so let me re-iterate, so that whoever is reading this can understand it more clearly.
i am comfortable with being alone. i prefer it. i LIKE it, it's pleasant to me.
so don't assume that you can walk in and ruin that.
