I want to call you. Leave a voice mail, I know you won't pick up anyway. I want to tell you that yes, even though I do love you, it terrifies me unbelievably how much we change each day. From loving, to nothing. Even though I love you... the fear that comes with it, guarantees that love isn't enough (for once). I want to be uninhibited and free... when you are, too. I want to laugh with you, rap with you, sleep with you, wake up with you, all of that... When I said "that's all it is," I only said it because (I'm not turning this on you) it's how you, and the entire situation made me feel. I can't help what I feel - neither can you. You should never mess with a broken heart, especially when you're the one who broke it... Sadly, that goes for both of us. It will never make sense to me; how it is always, always, the wrong time. You will probably leave and that will probably be it for us, like it has been a million times already. I don't want to leave, but I don't want to ask you to stay. I can't do it anymore. I can't hurt you. I can't hurt ME.
Still, I want to call you. Right now.
But I can't.
