i can't find a title to this post because i can't hold a title to what i'm feeling (har har).

lately i have been pulling away from just about everyone who i don't consider one of my best friends... that even includes my family. i have never felt like i wanted to move out SO badly.
but in all seriousness, i don't know why or what it is that makes me feel like... i need to isolate myself from people. i've always had this bad habit of getting close to people and then ghosting on them.

that's not to say that, if they were to ask of my help, i wouldn't give it. it's just the notion that i'd ever offer it is questionable.
i guess... in the scheme of things, i'm approachable, but fail at approaching others.
maybe it's just that after-high school shit people always talk about. the people who i swore i'd remain friends with, i barely see. matter of fact, i barely even speak to them. friendship is a two way street right? much like most things... i guess i've just adjusted to walking down a lot of streets my "friends" haven't, leading me to walk it on my own.

i mean... it's not a totally bad thing. but it's not totally a good thing, either. i don't know what it is. am i tired of those people? do i just use "independence" as a safety net so that i don't have to watch someone walk away first?

trust issues?
apathy towards them?
pftt
no idea.